Beta v0.9 Error Report Thread

[Licky]

scene 06003

Arthur says
It was him......he was the one who killed Dad...... I......live to fulfill my oaths!

is the blank space between Dad....... and I......... necessary? Don't know if it was already in the script but I thought to report it anyway
EDIT by Phlebas - yes, the space signals a new sentence starting (I is always capitalized so not so easy to see, but think of the sentence structure)
Arthur says
I.......I've.....

the voice says ore wa.......omae o....

shouldn't it be
I......you.......
but I could be wrong as what little I know of japanese comes from watching anime xD
EDIT by Phlebas - you're right about the literal translation, but it wouldn't make good English

[Tatsu]

Taliesin's skill: Spring's Sonata.
A sonata. Gratually restores HP.

Gradually spelt wrong.

EDIT by cheese: Resolved

[Moratorius]

Scene #751:
"Hey! Over there, stop complaining! I thought of a lot of things, but its already too much trouble! I'll make it simple!"
"Hey! Over there, stop complaining! I thought of a lot of things, but it's already too much trouble! I'll make it simple!" (Missing apostrophe)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #790:
"T, thats... Arawn-sama, you don't care about the stew that I made? Do you not care about me either?"
"T, that's... Arawn-sama, you don't care about the stew that I made? Do you not care about me either?" (Missing apostrophe)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"Shut up! Where we you eavesdropping from, you stupid brother?!"
"Shut up! Where were you eavesdropping from, you stupid brother?!" (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"You use a small needle and thin thread to make fine stitches. It's delicate work. It's totally different them stitching up your wounds from being bitten by boars in the forest!"
"You use a small needle and thin thread to make fine stitches. It's delicate work. It's totally different than stitching up your wounds from being bitten by boars in the forest!" (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"I lied down on the bed with the piping hot Gael stew."
"I lie/lay down on the bed with the piping hot Gael stew." (... I think I have this right... lie is the present tense of reclining, whereas lay is the past tense of reclining...)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #792:
"You were too promiscuous in your youth, and grew tired of men and women both, and now you're only interesting in elves!"
"You were too promiscuous in your youth, and grew tired of both men and women, and now you're only interested in elves!" (Awkward placement of "both" as a conjunction; Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"Now... rub, rub, rub... Tickle tickle..."
"Now... rub, rub, rub... tickle, tickle..." (Nitpicking here... either uppercase the first "rub" or lowercase the first "Tickle," the sentence flows strangely otherwise...)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (working as intended, they're two different "sets of sounds" (can't really call those sentences heh), and there's a 'key wait' between them)

"Before I could return to the Brigantes villages, the sun set... the night grew late... and the moon rose."
"Before I could return to the Brigantes village, the sun set... the night grew late... and the moon rose." (Unless there are multiple villages...)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"More beautiful, wise people...? Ahem, that's quite right!"
"More beautiful, more wise people...? Ahem, that's quite right!" (Parallelism)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"... Well, the story goes on a bit more, but. It seems like this elf is taking a liking to me."
"... Well, the story goes on a bit more, but it seems like this elf is taking a liking to me." (Unnecessary break)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #2002:
Having lost his weapon, Arthur's was driven by his soldier instinct to try to grapple with me, but I pointed my sword at his eyes, and that too was settled.
Having lost his weapon, Arthur was driven by his soldier's instinct to try to grapple with me, but I pointed my sword at his eyes, and that too was settled. (Incorrectly placed possessive apostrophe)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #2004:
Llyr covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a laughter.
Llyr covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a laugh. (Singular laugh; an alternative fix would be removing "a" instead, leaving the plural laughter)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"Hey, Elf."
"Hey, elf." (Unnecessary capitalization)

"Hey, Elf! Look!"
"Hey, elf! Look!" (Unnecessary capitalization)
EDIT by Phlebas - normally uncapitalized, but this is an address form, looks better capitalized (n.b. 'Elf-san')
Scene #2111:
"I said there was nothing about you I was unsatisfied with, but..."
"I said there was nothing about you I was dissatisfied with, but..." (I vaguely recall dissatisfied=/=unsatisfied, and since dissatisfied was the term used earlier...)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
When the sensation suddenly stopped, Riannons made a dejected face, but even to the end, she wasn't able to say it clearly.
When the sensation suddenly stopped, Riannon made a dejected face, but even to the end, she wasn't able to say it clearly. (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"Hyuu! Au! Kyau!"
"Hyuu! Au! Kyau!" (Odd spacing)
EDIT by Phlebas - I think it's intentional to signal there was some time between them
"Y, yes... you loved me very very much..."
"Y, yes... you love me very very much..." (Wrong tense?)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Idle note: It appears every woman can be compared to a string being cut/snapped/etc...
EDIT by Phlebas - working as intended
Scene #2412:
I grabbed her wrist and stopper her from masturbating.
I grabbed her wrist and stopped her from masturbating. (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
My semen fushed through her vagina. Ermin's lips trembled slightly.
My semen flushed through her vagina. Ermin's lips trembled slightly. (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #2811:
"I' m fine, really...! I'm really OK! Uu... uuuu!"
"I'm fine, really...! I'm really OK! Uu... uuuu!" (Incorrect apostrophe glyph)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved

[hinorashi004]

Moratorius: "a long time ago is the correct time expression..."

I think it should be long time ago ( Arthur didn't know how long that grave has been there), but if using "a long time ago", i think it should be used with "for".
EDIT by cheese: Resolved

Moratorius: "Does reversing the order make a difference? The original placement of "really" worked, since the emphasis is still on the confirmation of the state of being in good shape (due to the uncertainty of the party after seeing the derelict upper levels)..."

In spoken English, people often use "It's really..." than "It is really" -> I think it should be reversed.
EDIT by cheese: Resolved

Moratorius: "Isn't the original sentence correct? "Rats" is being used as a euphemism for Arawn's party, which has been raiding the outposts for foods (like rats)."

Perhaps I was wrong.
EDIT by cheese: Resolved

Scene 792:
Riannon: "I thought I'd go visit the item shop."
-> it should be "I thought I'd go to visit the item shop."
EDIT by cheese: Resolved

Arthur's sword: Sword with the vitality of humanity. Forged by Gale swordsmiths to never rust or dull. Under 50LV only.
->it should be: Sword with the vitality of humanity. Forged by Gael swordsmiths to never rust or dull. Under 50LV only.

EDIT by cheese: Resolved

[Moratorius]

Moratorius: "a long time ago is the correct time expression..."

I think it should be long time ago ( Arthur didn't know how long that grave has been there), but if using "a long time ago", i think it should be used with "for".

He knew that it was Arawn's grave and that Arawn had been entombed for ~1000 years, so "a long time ago" fits. "for" is unnecessary, because he isn't speaking of something happening over a period of time; he's speaking of the state of something at a point of time in the past.

Moratorius: "Does reversing the order make a difference? The original placement of "really" worked, since the emphasis is still on the confirmation of the state of being in good shape (due to the uncertainty of the party after seeing the derelict upper levels)..."

In spoken English, people often use "It's really..." than "It is really" -> I think it should be reversed.

"It's" is a contraction of "It is," so the two expressions are identical... but I understand that you meant "It really is" is less common than "It is really." That's true... but the meaning is the same either way, so examining this further would be pointless.

Anyway, errors:

Scene #801:
"It seems it's becoming a nest of monsters. They appear to have noticed us."
"It seems it's become a nest of monsters. They appear to have noticed us." (The cave had already become a nest of monsters, though I suppose it could be said that the cave is in the process of becoming a larger nest of monsters...)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #804:
"Understood. Sir Taliesin, could you take care of it for a while? Once its able to take to air on its own, it can fly away to its parents."
"Understood. Sir Taliesin, could you take care of it for a while? Once it's able to take to air on its own, it can fly away to its parents." (Missing apostrophe)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #835:
"Your must cultivate your ability to see the world from different angles... to feel the fluctuations of the world."
"You must cultivate your ability to see the world from different angles... to feel the fluctuations of the world." (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #840:
"But... that is fine. After all, life is is a journey of traveling your own path, and nobody else's."
"But... that is fine. After all, life is a journey of traveling your own path, and nobody else's." (Repeated "is")
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #850:
"What a weak race... Like this, they could not possible survive the long winter."
"What a weak race... Like this, they could not possibly survive the long winter." (Incorrect form of "possible" to modify a verb)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #860:
"The act of treason that Myrddin committed... Was truly a great sin, that shook this world. The fact that his body was destroyed is still not atonement enough."
"The act of treason that Myrddin committed... was truly a great sin that shook this world. The fact that his body was destroyed is still not atonement enough." (Unnecessary capitalization; sentence fragment)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (new lines after a manual line break+key wait+space start with a capital letter for stylistic purposes)
Descending to the surface alone so soon after joining the 12 Angels would invite unneccesary suspicion, but...
Descending to the surface alone so soon after joining the 12 Angels would invite unnecessary suspicion, but... (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #900:
"Achoo. How cold. If I stay here too long, I'll freeze. After enjoying the scenery of the Northern lands, I should go back."
"Achoo. How cold. If I stay here too long, I'll freeze. After enjoying the scenery of the Northern Lands, I should go back." (I thought all parts of a specific geographic region should be capitalized, but evidently I was wrong since my last fix on this type of error wasn't implemented, heh... well, I'll post this anyway.)
EDIT by Phlebas - going thru the all the scripts to fix the points of compass appropriately to context (interesting side note, nothing ever happens in the west, that direction doesn't come up in the whole script lol)
Scene #950:
"Arawn... stand back. From here, this isn't the path for you to walk. This is a direct road to the underworld. Its path doesn't cross with the road of kings."
"Arawn... stand back. From here, this isn't the path for you to walk. This is a direct road to the underworld. Its path doesn't cross with the road of kings." (Just pointing out that "road of the kings" has also been used in reference to the same thing... so refer to it in a consistent manner; personally, I prefer "road of kings")
"It's fine... you've always done more than enough. Now, stand back. And continue following the way of the king. For us."
"It's fine... you've always done more than enough. Now, stand back. And continue following the way of the king. For us." (See above)
EDIT by Phlebas - ah good spot, could've sworn that'd already be consistent after all our debate on it.
Scene #960:
"That is your destination. A world lying in the pit of a dim abyss... that is the Earth. How different is it from our heavenly word, overflowing with light?"
"That is your destination. A world lying in the pit of a dim abyss... that is the Earth. How different is it from our heavenly world, overflowing with light?" (Misspelling)

Scene #970:
"... You've regained your real words... These flowers herald the coming of spring, so they are called 'Primula'. Understand? They're Primula."
The notation above 'Primula' is supposed to be "First," but it is rendered "Firs[a squiggly character]."
EDIT by Cheese: Resolved

"...Spring ...Came?"
"...Spring... came?" (Spacing; unnecessary capitalization)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #980:
"... I definitely witnessed it... Taliesin. You... you... Giant Idiot!!!!"
"... I definitely witnessed it... Taliesin. You... you... giant idiot!!!!" (... unless "Giant Idiot" is now a title, anyway)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
I shouted as loudly as I could into the empty air, until it hurt.
I shouted as loudly as I could into the empty air until it hurt. (Unnecessary comma)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #1020:
"That's right. It's already clear that they have descended to earth. The seal has deteriorated over many years, so it's lost its effect. So, we have to use this directly."
"That's right. It's already clear that they have descended to the earth / Earth. The seal has deteriorated over many years, so it's lost its effect. So, we have to use this directly." (Capitalize Earth if referring to the planet)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #1021:
"Yes, all of the elves know this place. In the north of Albion... the field where the sun sets. As a proof of victory, the throne of the 13th king stands over the 12 columns."
"Yes, all of the elves know this place. In the North of Albion... in the field where the sun sets. As a proof of victory, the throne of the 13th king stands over the 12 columns." (Cardinal directions that are part of specific geographic regions should be capitalized; missing word?)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved as above
Scene #1024:
"T, that's... I won't let you lay a finger on my brother!"
"T, that's... I won't let you lay a finger on my Brother!" (Arthur has always been referred to as "Brother" in Riannon's speech, so keep it consistent)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #1025:
I knew at a glance that he was clearly a being different from an elf. Perhaps... a high ranking young nobleman of the dragons.
I knew at a glance that he was clearly a being different from an elf. Perhaps... a high-ranking young nobleman of the dragons. (Missing hyphen)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"I must fulfill the duty imposed on my by the heavens. So, I can't give you even one."
"I must fulfill the duty imposed on me by the heavens. So, I can't give you even one." (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #1026:
"Control Station...? Protection...? Hahahahahaha, ahahahahaha! What a riot!"
"Control station...? Protection...? Hahahahahaha, ahahahahaha! What a riot!" (Unnecessary capitalization, unless all other instances of "control station" are capitalized as well)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"That the hopes of everyone living on earth were put into it! But even so, you're trampling on that, and making Avalon into hope's grave!"
"That the hopes of everyone living on Earth were put into it! But even so, you're trampling on that, and making Avalon into hope's grave!" (Capitalize Earth if referring to the planet)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (as well as the other incorrect capitalizations of 'earth' across the scripts
"That is... because we are imperfect... it's our punishment. Yes, we're completely useless. We were created to be the rulers of the earth, but we failed to meet their expectations."
"That is... because we are imperfect... it's our punishment. Yes, we're completely useless. We were created to be the rulers of the Earth, but we failed to meet their expectations." (Capitalize Earth if referring to the planet)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (as well as the other incorrect capitalizations of 'earth' across the scripts
"Who on earth... are you?"
"Who on Earth... are you?" (Capitalize Earth if referring to the planet)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (as well as the other incorrect capitalizations of 'earth' across the scripts
"... Impossible. No one on this earth should have the ability to overturn the 12 Angels' decision..."
"... Impossible. No one on this Earth should have the ability to overturn the 12 Angels' decision..." (Capitalize Earth if referring to the planet... gahhh it's getting tiring typing these out... ... just take a look at all occurrences of "earth" and decide between the planet or dirt/ground)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (as well as the other incorrect capitalizations of 'earth' across the scripts
Scene #1030:
"Did they even blow away their own allies with the Merkadis...?"
"Did they blow away even their own allies with the Merkadis...?" (Original sentence works, but placing "even" closer to "their own allies" better emphasizes the meaning)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"Messenger! Is the miner elf brigade still not here?! Make them hurry!"
"Messenger! Is the Miner Elf brigade still not here?! Make them hurry!" (Capitalization of specific race)
EDIT by Phlebas - all race names fixed as stated earlier
"In the long battle, the majority of the elves died.
... Avalon, the last clean land, has become a battlefield, and been contaminated with Gravitas."
"In the long battle, the majority of the elves died.
... Avalon, the last clean land, has become a battlefield, and been contaminated with gravitas." ("gravitas" has been used lowercase before, so either uppercase all instances or lowercase all of them; capitalized instance also present in Dawnwin's item description)
EDIT by Phlebas - fixed all gravitas in script into lowercase, gotta take this up with cheese tho
"Hehe, you're such a showoff. Even to the end, you never said your innermost wish."
"Hehe, you're such a show-off. Even to the end, you never said your innermost wish." ("show-off" has been consistently used until now)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #1100:
"Hehehe... That information was to deceive the senate. The truth is... he has been here the whole time."
"Hehehe... That information was to deceive the Senate. The truth is... he has been here the whole time." (Capitalization of proper noun)
EDIT by Phlebas - fixed 'Senate' in the whole script
Related note: Shouldn't "emperor" also be capitalized when used in reference to the emperor of the Holy Empire? For example:
"You're saying... this is the emperor of the Holy Empire? Impossible! The emperor should be in his palace on Capri Island! Why would he be here?"
"You're saying... this is the Emperor of the Holy Empire? Impossible! The Emperor should be in his palace on Capri Island! Why would he be here?" (There are other occurrences, but they show up all over this scene, and I don't feel like typing all of them at 4 in the morning, heh)
EDIT by Phlebas: (emperor should only be capitalized when used before the name of the emperor or of the empire, thus capitalized "Emperor of the Holy Empire" but that's the only instance in the script)
Scene #1102:
"With our current strength, breaking these walls is impossible. We can't escape... Even from way we came in. The flames coming from the Merkadis's remains have already engulfed most of the tower."
"With our current strength, breaking these walls is impossible. We can't escape... Even from the way we came in. The flames coming from the Merkadis's remains have already engulfed most of the tower." (Missing word)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"Who are them huge guys? Your friends?"
"Who are those huge guys? Your friends?" (I believe the original sentence is correct, and is simply conveying Morgan's... unique style of speech; however, if not, the correct word is "those")
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #1110:
"Hya! What a huge Obelisk."
"Hya! What a huge obelisk." (All previous occurrences of "obelisk" have been lowercase)
EDIT by Phlebas - fixed obelisk in the whole script
Scene #8101
"... What a cruel thing.
... I wonder what in the world they did.
... A sin deserving of such a cruel punishment
... Does such a sin exist in this world...?"
"... What a cruel thing.
... I wonder what in the world they did.
... A sin deserving of such a cruel punishment.
... Does such a sin exist in this world...?" (The first two lines ended with periods, so stylistically the third line should end with one as well...)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #9000
"Hmm, as expected from an miner elf. They're well made. You must be doing well in your principal occupation as a weapon merchant too."
"Hmm, as expected from a Miner Elf. They're well made. You must be doing well in your principal occupation as a weapon merchant too." (Incorrect form of "a"; Capitalization of specific race)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved as above
Scene #9001
"We'll recruit reinforcements from Londinium. Once we've gathered all of the soldiers, we'll head North at once!"
"We'll recruit reinforcements from Londinium. Once we've gathered all of the soldiers, we'll head north at once!" (General compass directions don't need capitalization)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved as above
"Basically its a mountain that would cease to exist in an instant without magic."
"Basically it's a mountain that would cease to exist in an instant without magic." (Missing apostrophe)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"That's right! And not just any avalanche! An avalanche of an unbelievable scale, with an entire mountain crumbling!"
"That's right! And not just any avalanche! An avalanche of unbelievable scale, with an entire mountain crumbling!" (Unnecessary word)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"We'll have the main army advance as bait. If we march straight towards Palladium, they'll get uneasy, and take the shortest route South. In other words, through the base of Mt. Corus."
"We'll have the main army advance as bait. If we march straight towards Palladium, they'll get uneasy, and take the shortest route south. In other words, through the base of Mt. Corus." (General compass directions don't need capitalization)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved as above
"We won't give them time to make new soldiers! We'll cross the ravine by filling it with ice and their corpses, charge North at once, and topple the powerless Palladium!"
"We won't give them time to make new soldiers! We'll cross the ravine by filling it with ice and their corpses, charge north at once, and topple the powerless Palladium!" (General compass directions don't need capitalization)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved as above
----------

So, I've completed the game sans the hidden bonus dungeon (I'll do that later today, after I get some sleep). Great job overall!
However, it would have saved some time if a spell-check had been used before insertion (actually, I'd still recommend that after this beta phase is over). Oh, and I assume subtitles for the ED will be implemented in the future...
EDIT by Phlebas - gj spotting all those nutters >.> (damn you... )
I only have one question: What the hell were the other 10 White Angels doing? Fapping to cover their world in more white?

[Moratorius]

Alright, I've completed the bonus dungeon as well (it was tough... I don't want to know how hard it'd be on Difficult/Impossible instead of Normal ).

Scene #7031:
"Is this ecstasy? I'm free of worldy thoughts..."
"Is this ecstasy? I'm free of worldly thoughts..." (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #7040:
"... They're even more demonic that me."
"... They're even more demonic than me."
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #7060:
"That's right! You can get an an arrangement CD at Comiket, Arawn-sama!"
"That's right! You can get an arrangement CD at Comiket, Arawn-sama!" (Duplicated word)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #7100:
"A good villain will be ressurected as soon as he requests it."
"A good villain will be resurrected as soon as he requests it." (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"You're too late to realize it now! Now, Awaken! The new Demon King!!"
"You're too late to realize it now! Now, awaken! The new Demon King!!" (Unnecessary capitalization)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"You don't get it. Even if you've ressurrected them, we have their most treasured fantastic items!"
"You don't get it. Even if you've resurrected them, we have their most treasured fantastic items!" (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #7102:
"But... one day, I'll definitely be revived... Until that day, I'll leave my life it your hands... Gahahahahaha... farewell."
"But... one day, I'll definitely be revived... Until that day, I'll leave my life in your hands... Gahahahahaha... farewell." (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"He ran out of cliche villain phrases."
"He ran out of cliché villain phrases." (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"As soon as we return... We'll begin the creation of the 'Leaf Millenium'!"
"As soon as we return... We'll begin the creation of the 'Leaf Millennium'!" (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"There's only one rule in the 'Leaf Millenium'!"
"There's only one rule in the 'Leaf Millennium'!" (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Idle note: Leaf Millennium... only one rule... did the scenario writer just make a Gungrave reference?!
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"Full 24 hour shifts! Monday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Friday! Go from morning to night, until you die!"
"Full 24 hour shifts! Monday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Friday! Go from morning to night, until you die!" (Are the repeated days intended?)
EDIT by Phlebas - I assumed they were but gotta check with cheese
And so... everyone who had gathered at the leaf tower disappeared back to their world like the wind.
And so... everyone who had gathered at the Leaf Tower disappeared back to their world like the wind. (Capitalization)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved

[DeamonCross]

In scene #0394, Gauis (or ???, as he is known at this point in the scene) says:

Men, halt!
Stand by right there.

Whether he is talking to his men when he says "Stand by right there" or to Arawn and company, that phrase just sounds odd. If he is talking to his men, then halt should be more then enough. "Stand by right there" sounds like it is aimed at Arawn's group. If it is then "Stay right there" would fit better. If I'm wrong then my bad, but Stand by right there just sounds off no mater who it is said to.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Also in scene #0394:

The word Puer is used by Gauis:

Yo, It's been a while.
Demon King and Puer.
How are you doing......?

Puer doesn't have the word Boy over it in this case, but then in scene #03941, Gauis says:

Hahaha, you've gotten pretty strong, Puer.

Boy is back over Puer in this scene. I am pretty sure every other time I have seen the word Puer it has had Boy above it.
EDIT by Phlebas - I guess it's a bit inconsistent really, but we're sticking to the original script's usage of furigana without adding or removing them.

[Balcerzak]

First report: I'm somewhere around halfway through, I expect, but thought I should weigh in with the progress I've made so far. I've done a brief search of the locked sticky and tried to weed out most of the duplicates, but I may have missed a couple. I apologize if I did. Additionally there was one instance that I remember specifically leaving a duplicate in, as I offered a couple of different options, and wasn't sure which would be the best, or if you were already completely satisfied with what you've chosen since the prior report. In my suggestions I've tried to use underscores to show off the changed portions, but occasionally if the majority of the sentence was restructured I think I omitted them. The beta-patch version I'm running off is the .92 version, if relevant. Things that I found suspicious but am not wholly convinced are errors I've surrounded in double brackets.

Scene #100:
1. Super Easy (mouseover)
Line: Mode aimed towards those saying "I've never even played a sim game before!" Also for those who want to leisurely enjoy the story.
Problem: usage. "sim game" is awkward usage. See wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SRPG
Suggest: "I've never even played a _strategy_ game before!"

Line: The prophecy of upheaval and revolution that I learned from the stars has told me since long, long ago that it was unavoidable.
Problem: Awkward. "has told me since" just doesn't flow.
Suggest: The prophecy of upheaval and revolution that I learned from the stars _ever since_ long, long ago _has told me_ that it was unavoidable.

Line: It's proof that you succeed the bloodline to govern the tribe......
Problem: odd. "to" doesn't seem appropriate
Suggest: "It's proof that you succeed the bloodline _that governs_ the tribe......" OR "It's proof that _you're the successor to_ the bloodline _that governs_ the tribe......"
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Line: If you want me to divine something, I'll do it as much as you like, even without something like this.
Problem: much is used for continuous quantities, but fortune telling is discreet. "often" is better. Further, the tense usage is strange here. Since she's posing a hypothetical, I'd think the conditional would work better.
Suggest: If you _wanted_ me to divine something, _I'd_ do it _as often as_ you _liked_, even without something like this.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Line: No matter how much I apologize, I wouldn't be forgiven......
Problem: tense matching. (Choosing the past, as she's continuing her hypothetical)
Suggest: No matter how much I _apologized_, I wouldn't be forgiven......
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (Actually the 1st clause isn't hypothetical, she IS apologizing)
Scene #: 0110
Line: Unsure how much time had passed.......
Problem: punctuation. Ellipses come in multiples of three periods (or rarely, exactly four), currently there are seven.
Suggest: Unsure how much time had passed_......_
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (and gl counting those hehe~~)
Line: Pwyll-"Yeah..... It's starting. I can tell...... I can see it......"
Problem: punctuation. Ellipses (five here, should be six)
Suggest: Pwyll-"Yeah_......_"
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Line: Ogam-"After that, succession dispute split up the kingdom."
Problem: awkward. succession isn't a proper adjective.
Suggest: Ogam-"After that, _dispute over succession_ split up the kingdom."
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (it's a modifier noun)
Scene #: 0112
Line: ......M, me?
......Y, yeah......
Problem: stuttering usage. Using a comma seems weird. I'm more used to hyphens.
Suggest: This is a stylistic choice, as long as you guys are consistent, it's your project. :3
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (we're using both actually, they give a slightly different impression).
Scene #: 0113
Line: Arthur-"I'll n, never allow it!
Problem: This time the stutter poses serious readability issues for me. Coming in the middle of the sentence my brain expects certain things of a comma, and a stutter is not one of them... Maybe I can get used to it with time. I'll try...
Suggest: "I'll n-never allow it!"
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #: 130
Line: Arthur-"Keep on advancing! ......Wahhhhhh!"
Problem: The audio makes it clear that this is more of a battle cry. Wahhh reads like something weak and pathetic.
Suggest: "Rahhhhhh!"
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #: 140
Line: Before I knew it, the stars I had always looked up at had overflowed onto the earth.
Problem: past participle?
Suggest: the stars I had always looked up at had _overflown_ onto the earth.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (overflowed is correct though the irregular conjugation still lingers about).
Scene #: 0210
Line: Out of curiosity, I looked closely at something that looked like a road sign.
Problem: duplicated phrase.
Suggest: I looked closely at something that _appeared to be_ a road sign.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Line: Arthur-"Apparently, to the East of Erin, in the South of Albion, there's a good land that ..."
Problem: Directions are only capitalized when they are proper nouns. The East. Not when used as directions, "west five miles" or "north of the border". This is negligible importance.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved as stated earlier
Line: Arthur-".....T, that's."
Problem: More ellipses issues. Future ones won't be reported. A couple well placed search and replaces should do the trick.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (and wish it were as easy as that, a difference of one character can be enough to break the screen in some cases ^^)
Scene #: 0300
Line: Morgan-"It's a white sandy beach......! The first one to set foot is me!"
Problem: awkward phrasing.
Suggest: "The first one _ashore_ is me!"
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Line: Arthur-"Whew. Being on hard ground is nice after all."
Problem: more appropriate idiom
Suggest: "Being on _solid_ ground is nice after all."
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #: 0310
Line: Arawn-"Prepare the castle for a village to live in."
Problem: Odd. Makes it sound like the castle is getting ready to go live in a village somewhere. :S
Suggest: "_Have the castle prepared_ for a village to live in _it_."
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Line: Limwris-"Wow, a descendant of Pwyll is thanking me. This is more than I deserve."
Problem: Honorifics, voice matching? If I'm not mistaken she says "Pwyll-sama" and I notice elsewhere you seem to be using honorifics...
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #: 0331
Line: Arawn-"Grrr, that damn Arthur......he instinctually knows how to deal with elves."
Problem: word? "Instinctively" maybe?
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (is fine; see http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/instinctually)
Scene #: 03301
Line: Arthur-"Aren't crabs supposed to be the size to fit in your hand?"
Problem: awkward.
Suggest: "Aren't crabs supposed to be _a size that fits_ in your hand?"
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #: 03302
Line: Everyone's thrilled faces floated in the fire.
Problem: strange usage... "reflected" perhaps?
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Line: Looking at the area, I notice an old stone monument.
It's weathering all over.
Problem: tense. the gerund form makes it sound like an active process, not a descriptive property.
Suggest: "It's _weathered_ all over."
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #: 0353
Line: Limwris-"Good Morning, Arthur-sama."
Problem: capitalization.
Suggest: "Good _morning_, Arthur-sama."
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Line: Limwris-"That's why, once she's left, an elf can't come back easily."
Problem: verb choice. Since she's talking about leaving the other world, and not here, "come" isn't appropriate.
Suggest: "That's why, once she's left, an elf can't _return_ easily."
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Scene #: 03551
Line: Arawn-"And you're going to mend pots?! Temper swords! Forge chain mails!"
Problem: plural. "Chain mails" is not proper. just "chain mail" is fine.
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Scene #: 2601
Line: Limwris-"It's because we take care of all the castle's sheets and linen by ourselves."
Problem: plural matching.
Suggest: "sheets and _linens_"
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Scene #: 2410
Line: Arawn-"No, not at all. Not all all, Limwris."
Problem: typo
Suggest: "No, not at all. Not _at_ all, Limwris."
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Scene #: 0391
Line: Ogam-"To put is simply, we can choose whatever we like."
Problem: typo
Suggest: "To put _it_ simply"
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Scene #: 2211
Line: The shaking Octavia's heavy breathing was brought to a halt by the intrusion of my hard member.
Problem: very awkward... At first read it seems like Octavia is the object, and is brought to a halt.
Suggest: "The heavy breathing of shaking Octavia was brought to a halt by" OR maybe just "_Shaking_ Octavia's heavy breathing"
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Scene #: 0403
Line: Taliesin-"......and so the legends ends."
Problem: agreement.
Suggest: "and so the legends _end_."
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Line: Taliesin-"When Pwyll's decendants came to visit out village......"
Problem: typo "descendants"
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Line: Arwan-"If Arthur kills you, everything you have, and would have from here on, will become his."
Problem: tense
Suggest: "and would have _had_ from here on,"
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Scene #: 0460
Line: Arawn-"Ogam, you'd like to try that arm again after such a long time, right?
That once so great. Or has your arm gotten rusty from your long years of wandering?"
Problem: fragment.
Suggest: "That once so great _arm_." OR "_It was_ once so great."
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Scene #: 0570
Line: Londinium Mayor-"I see...... So that's how is is."
Problem: typo
Suggest: "So that's how _it_ is."
EDIT by cheese - resolved

[[The very first time we met Gaius, wasn't he referred to as Consul, but recently it's always Semi-Consul? I'll double-check.]]
EDIT by cheese - resolved (You're right, it said Consul in scene 0230, but it should have said Semi-Consul.)

[[Item: Steel Gloves has description of "Hard, brass gauntlets" Is that right??? Shouldn't they be steel not brass]]
EDIT by cheese - resolved (Yeah, it should say steel. Copy-paste error on my part.)

Scene #: 060000
[["delator" is referred to as inspector in 06000. I thought earlier it was inquisitor, or something. I'll double-check.]]
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Line: Senator F-"Gahahaha"
Problem: punctuation.
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Scene #: 0602
Line: I lay heavily breathing Riannon on the bed.
Problem: incredibly awkward.
Suggest: "I lay _the_ heavily breathing Riannon on the bed." OR "I lay Riannon, who is heavily breathing, on the bed."
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Line: Riannon-"No, aaaah...... It's embarrassing......s,
sto......"
Problem: is this a case of comma stutter? If so the line break really makes it look bad... maybe put the line break after the ellipsis pause, and have
Suggest: "It's embarrassing......
s, stop......"
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Scene #: 06003
Line: Arthur-"You of all should understand!"
Problem: missing word
Suggest: "You of all _people_ should understand!"
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Scene #: 0604
Previously mentioned, but not sure how you chose to fix it, there were a couple of options...
Line: Octavia-"Even if I don't show it out, I am always relying on you......"
Problem: odd phrase. Either extra words, or needs slight changing.
Suggest: "Even if I don't show it_,_ I am always" OR "Even if I don't show it _outright_, I am always"
EDIT by cheese - resolved

Major Issue!
Scene Replay Problem!
Riannon's scene's seem to be unlocked in backwards order. (I've only viewed her first scene in the course of the story, but a scene with her turned over is unlocked in the extras, and the first scene is not...)
EDIT by cheese - resolved. (This bug was actually there in the original. I usually try to change as little of the original code as possible, but this is so clearly wrong that I've fixed it.)

[Tatsu]

Scene # 2210
Octavia:
This situation is quite reversed. This time, I have the weaker position.

These are Arawn's thoughts, box unneeded?

[DeamonCross]

In scene #0460, Arawn says:

Ogam, you'd like to try that arm again after such a long time, right?
That once so great. Or has your arm gotten rusty from your long years of wandering?

What is up with the sentence That once so great. It seems like it should be connected to something more and is instead waiting there for something to do. I don't know exactly how it would be fixed but felt I should bring notice to it.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #2604, Arawn says:

Uh......well, I guess this means it's not good to doubt someone without reason, I guess.

The second I guess is rather redundant and unnecessary.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #0553, Arawn says:

What this all about?

It should be:

What's this all about?
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #0602, Arawn action:

Before she could say anything more, I sealed her lips.

A couple sentences later it says:

I steal her lips once more.

Shouldn't it be:

I seal her lips once more.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
After all he had sealed them earlier so he would seal them again.

In the same scene, Arawn action:

I lay heavily breathing Riannon on the bed.

Shouldn't it be:

I lay a heavily breathing Riannon on the bed.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #0610, Arthur calls Ogam staff officer. Staff Officer should be capitalized as it is a title (like Staff Sargent).
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #0607, Aide says:

Yes, Sir. Understood.
Then, let's move into next phase immediately!

It should be:

Yes, Sir. Understood.
Then, let's move onto the next phase immediately!

I believe onto is more accurate than into in this case. I could be wrong, however the is definitely missing from the original version.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In the same scene:

Long ago, they made the castle walls out of rammed earth as a fortification.
They're layered on level after level like the growth rings on an old tree.

While this sentence was checked by another beta tester, I think it could be improved on.

Long ago, they made the castle walls out of rammed earth as a fortification.
They're layered on, level after level, like the growth rings on an old tree.

Just a thought.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #2613, Arawn thought:

In addition to being Ermin being completely naked, my penis was already towering right beneath her.

It should be:

In addition to Ermin being completely naked, my penis was already towering right beneath her.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #2001, Arawn action:

Surrounded on both sides, I kicked the ground and lept to the side.

It should be:

Surrounded on both sides, I kicked the ground and leapt to the side.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #2811, Epona says:

To uphold my merchant's ethics, I'll become I demon if I have to.

It should be:

To uphold my merchant's ethics, I'll become a demon if I have to.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In the same scene, Arawn action:

Slip. My tip of my penis slides up out from her slit.

It should be:

Slip. The tip of my penis slides up and out from her slit.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #0735, Taliesin says:

He wants us remember the name of the influential man who opened the tournament and gathered all these people.

It should be:

He wants us to remember the name of the influential man who opened the tournament and gathered all these people.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #2004, Arawn thought:

Just as Llyrs said, the kids around me were quiet....

It should be:

Just as Llyr said, the kids around me were quiet....
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #2506, Arawn action:

Her chest?
I gently twist Llyrs nipples.

It should be:

Her chest?
I gently twist Llyr's nipples.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #2111, Riannon says:

Uh, um, if you're going to be stay up, then can I prepare something for you?

It should either be

Uh, um, if you're going to be staying up, then can I prepare something for you?

or

Uh, um, if you're going to stay up, then can I prepare something for you?
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #0790, Arawn says:

Shut up!
Where we you eavesdropping from, you stupid brother?!

It should be:

Shut up!
Where were you eavesdropping from, you stupid brother?!
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved (earlier already)
In scene #0830, Myrddin says:

That was my intention as soon as soon as I set eyes upon this infant angel.

It should be:

That was my intention as soon as I set eyes upon this infant angel.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
In scene #0835, Lucifer thought:

Saying that, Myrddin laughed happily.

When this line appears, Lucifer's name bubble appears. It shouldn't be there.