Beta v0.9 Error Report Thread

[SolidSnake916]

Scene#: 0310 - Limwris
Original Version
"No, I've heard that the Gates of Life were sealed by Pwyll-sama. Even though I'd heard that the only ones who could open it are you and he......I've disgraced myself! I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!"

Corrected Version
"No, I've heard that the Gates of Life were sealed by Pwyll-sama. Even though I'd heard that the only ones who could open it are you and him......I've disgraced myself! I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!"


EDIT by Cheese: RESOLVED: - he is correct in this case: http://www.kentlaw.edu/academics/lrw/gr ... onouns.htm
(However, 'it' should be changed to 'them', so thanks for bringing this sentence to attention.)


Scene#: 0310 - Limwris
Original Version
"Forgive my delay in saying, I am the house elf Limwris. Pleased take good care of me. She is also a house elf, my apprentice......"

Corrected Version
"Forgive my delay in saying, I am the house elf Limwris. Please take good care of me. She is also a house elf, my apprentice......"

Notes: "Please take good care of me." --- Still doesn't seem right...
EDIT by Cheese: RESOLVED


Scene#: sys_kyoten
In recruit screen, when selecting girl, and looking at the help message for Priestess, it seems like words are cutoff, or is it supposed to end with but...
EDIT by Cheese: RESOLVED: - it's intended

[hinorashi004]

I think ドルウク should be "Doruuku" ( or in English, is sounds as Doruck or Doruke). I think Doruuku better than Drwc.

EDIT by Cheese: RESOLVED - Drwc is the official spelling: http://leaf.aquaplus.co.jp/product/ttt/index.html

In scene 100:
Dwrc: " I am the High Priest of Holy Empire, Drwc. Listen well, you savages!"
What do you think if putting a common between "you" and "savages" or "Listen well, savage people!" ( I base on japanese 蛮族).
EDIT by Cheese: RESOLVED

[DeamonCross]

The game occasionally closes on me with out warning when I click on Free Plains and Portus Magnus. It does it some times and not others. It doesn't give me an error message when this happens.

In scene #0230, Arawn calls the weapon Gaius threw at him an electrum dagger, but after Arawn leaves on the ship Gaius Aide calls it an electrum sword. There is definitely a difference between a dagger and a sword. The Aide should call it either an electrum dagger (like Arawn) or at the very least an electrum blade (as blade can be used to talk about knives in general). Otherwise Arawn should call it a sword as Gaius also seems to call it a sword (though Gaius also called it a knife when he noticed it stuck in the ground by his foot). By the picture it shows I would call it a dagger.
EDIT by Cheese: Resolved

The game closed out on me without warning again when I chose to go to the beach in Albion.

EDIT by Cheese: Try using beta v0.91 from the first post of this thread to fix the crashes. If you're already using that version and still crashing, edit this post again to say so.

It seems to be okay now that I updated.

[X-Calibar]

I've just started and was trying to give a shot at trying to revise anything that I felt that might improve the script.
You might not want me to continue going through like this since this is already beta testing? I don't know, take a look and tell me what you think...
This is just scene 0100.

I was with the mindset that the prologue is crucial for hooking the reader and wanted to see if I could help in anyway, so here's the link
http://www.geocities.com/x-calibar/tears0100.html (posted on another website due to the lack of a strikeout feature on this site and the large amount of text) Striked out stuff was the original stuff I thought was uneeded, and bold/underlined stuff is the suggested additions!

tried to make Drwc more despised, add more contunity to some of the changes between tenses, and tried to make Riannon easier to relate to.. Hope you use some of it
If you need me to format it differently or add comments I can do that, it just takes more time.

Edit by Phlebas humm humm, went thru it and some good suggestions, but overall I think that's too much when we're at the final phase of testing, can't change the script that much or it will be for moot (and I don't agree with all of them, either). Will take you too long to go through the script like that as well, I'd say. So probably better if you limit yourself to pointing out actual mistakes and suggestions for awkward sentences. Would be a bit weird if one scene is stylisticallally very different from the rest, too. Thanks for your effort anyway, you would've been more than welcome to sign up a month orso earlier if you wanted to edit the whole script.

[SolidSnake916]

Another Limwris typo? And i was under the impression there was male elves in this story lol...

Scene#: 0353
Original Version
"A day can last for a hundred years. A hundred years can last for a day...... That's why, once she's left, an elf can't come back easily."

Corrected Version
"A day can last for a hundred years. A hundred years can last for a day...... That's why, once we leave, us elves can't go back easily."
EDIT by Phlebas - that could count as a 'generic she' I suppose, politically correct and all ;P but yeah might as well change. (although for all the evidence we have, all elves these days are female )

GAME CRASH NOTES
Note: I have used the patch that's in post 1, and i've tried this in the japanese version, this problem only occurs in the english beta with and without v.0.91 patch.
Also im encountering technical bugs, such as crashes with no error messages, usually from when exiting / entering things in the world map, or starting a fight. The game will close its-self and have no windows error, or game error. Another note is, when the screen changes it goes to a black screen and than dies, the scene at the top left doesn't change though...

[Moratorius]

Scene #401:
"We have no intention of turning back! We have business up ahead! We've got no time to listen do your songs!"
"We have no intention of turning back! We have business up ahead! We've got no time to listen to your songs!" (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - RESOLVED
I feel like I have a new Brother... I..."
Should "Brother" be capitalized? I suppose it should be kept that way due to the formal version Riannon always uses...
EDIT by Phlebas - RESOLVED
Scene #403:
"My, my. There has to have been a better way to clear people out than that..."
"My, my. There had to have been a better way to clear people out than that..." (Depends on the emphasis, I suppose... now that I think about it, this shouldn't be changed...)
EDIT by Phlebas - RESOLVED
"What happened after that is a well known story, but..."
"What happened after that is a well-known story, but..." (Missing hyphen)
EDIT by Phlebas - RESOLVED
"You're rebuking arthur, reminding him of his oaths, and having him fulfil his duty."
"You're rebuking Arthur, reminding him of his oaths, and having him fulfill his duty." (Capitalization of Arthur; fulfil is a variant of fulfill, but the latter is more common)
EDIT by Phlebas - RESOLVED
Scene #404:
"Aren't these a hinderance when running?"
"Aren't these a hindrance when running?" (Misspelling)

"W, wait... n, no! You're mistaken! Wait! Sister!"
"W, wait... n, no! You're mistaken! Wait! My sister!" (IIRC, he uses that "Sister of mine" expression, which has been translated as "my sister" throughout the novel... so it could be changed for consistency's sake)
EDIT by Phlebas - RESOLVED
Scene #2000:
"Your right."
"You're right." (Missing verb)
EDIT by Phlebas - RESOLVED
Scene #2211:
My built up tension ran through my penis, and surged inside of Octavia, who until now had not been defiled by anyone.
My built-up tension ran through my penis, and surged inside of Octavia, who until now had not been defiled by anyone. (Missing hyphen... well, both versions work... but hyphens are sexy)
EDIT by Phlebas - RESOLVED
I lay down next to Octavia, and lent her my arms as a pillow. It felt like a very natural thing to do.
I laid down next to Octavia, and lent her my arms as a pillow. It felt like a very natural thing to do.
(The conflicting tenses--lay:present/lent:past--feels awkward; the sentence might flow better using "laid" instead of "lay," but the current sentence works too)
EDIT by Phlebas - working as intended, it's the past tense of 'lie' : http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lie ; "laid" is the past tense of "lay" which is a different word, http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lay%5B1%5D

[Licky]

scene 0150

when Arawn says
Thank you. I'm grateful.
his name box doesn't show up.

and when Arawn narrates

My whole body is throbbing in pain.
If I don't get accustomed to my body a bit more,
it'll be harsh up ahead......

So thinking I laid down.
Anyway, I'll take a short rest for now......and
try to recover.

I lightly clench my fist and try moving my arm.

But Riannon still looks at my arm with suspicion.
It looks like......she's looking at the end of my
arm, at my clenched fist.

Her small, soft tongue dissolves the rough lumps
of blood and cleans the wound.

Murmuring that, I went to sleep.

in this case even tough Arawn is narrating and not talking his name box show up.

EDIT by Cheese: RESOLVED

[X-Calibar]

Edit by Phlebas humm humm, went thru it and some good suggestions, but overall I think that's too much when we're at the final phase of testing, can't change the script that much or it will be for moot (and I don't agree with all of them, either). Will take you too long to go through the script like that as well, I'd say. So probably better if you limit yourself to pointing out actual mistakes and suggestions for awkward sentences. Would be a bit weird if one scene is stylisticallally very different from the rest, too. Thanks for your effort anyway, you would've been more than welcome to sign up a month orso earlier if you wanted to edit the whole script.

;_; You guys worked too fast! Didn't realize I wanted to do this before now .. [If you have access to a time machine please PM]
Well if you change your mind, or want to do a version 2.0 release [well after original release] feel free to ask~

Scene 0100
"You're from the "Hidden lineage of Pwyll" from the forgotten legend, aren't you?"
Correction :
"You're from the 'Hidden lineage of Pwyll' from the forgotten legend, aren't you?"
(not supposed to be double quotation marks inside of double quotation marks I think)
Edit by Cheese: RESOLVED

[Tatsu]

#0393
Ogam:
"......Ah, this is paradise......"
Arawn:
"It'll be a problem if you go there so soon."
shouldn't paradise be switched to heaven, so Arawn's line would make more sense?
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved

Arawn:
"My hands will get tired eventually!"
Not too sure, but would eventually be either before or after will?
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Ogam:
"Also, the empire customarily cremates their dead."
soldiers be added to the end of the sentence?
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Ogam:
"Strangly, there are no reports of soldiers who violated regulations being sent home to the mainland......"
Strangely spelt wrong.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"Crack"
no punctuation.
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved

#2610
"(Ermin is...... I see......)"
Shouldn't Arawn's box appear here?

#0401
Taliesin:
"Kukuku......hahaha"
Punctuation
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved

[Moratorius]

EDIT by Phlebas - working as intended, it's the past tense of 'lie' : http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lie ; "laid" is the past tense of "lay" which is a different word, http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lay%5B1%5D

Accursed lay-lie puzzles .

Scene #572:
"Look, we've got a big haul today, Sister!"
"Look, we've got a big haul today, my sister!"
(Hm... same as the error I noticed in Scene #404 & Scene #6003... though now I'm doubting my memory--perhaps "imouto yo" has always been translated as uppercase Sister and I just didn't notice it? If that's the case, the instance in Scene #404 should be reverted to its original form)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved

Scene #602:
With the tip of my finger, wet with her slippery fluid, I poked the small protruberance above her slit.
With the tip of my finger, wet with her slippery fluid, I poked the small protuberance above her slit. (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
"... You're... (crying?)"
I don't recall him saying "crying," but I wasn't listening very closely either... well, it probably wouldn't be difficult to confirm if "(crying?)" is present inside parenthesis in the original text.

Scene #604:
"Even if I don't show it out, I am always relying on you... Even now..."
"Even if I don't show it, I am always relying on you... Even now..." ("out" is unnecessary)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #609:
"Just a little more... if I can just climb I little higher... One, two...!!"
"Just a little more... if I can just climb a little higher... One, two...!!" (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved

Scene #612:
"You intending to occupy me here in order to have him go on his own, but... He won't head to Gorsedd Arawn like you're expecting..."
"You intended to occupy me here in order to have him go on his own, but... He won't head to Gorsedd Arawn like you're expecting..." (Wrong tense?)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #2411:
"H, how far are you going to insert it...!"
"H, how far are you going to insert it...?" (Interrogative punctuation)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
White fluid spilled from her gaping open vagina like from an overturned bottle.
White fluid spilled from her gaping vagina like from an overturned bottle. (Gaping already means "wide open," so the succeeding "open" is redundant)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #2604:
"Even thought it was as I said..."
"Even though it was as I said..." (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #2612:
Ermin trembled in shyness, and pleaded itermitently. Her breath became strangely hot.
Ermin trembled in shyness, and pleaded intermittently. Her breath became strangely hot. (Misspelling)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #6003:
"Let me kill him!! Let me fulfill my oath! Sister!!"
"Let me kill him!! Let me fulfill my oath! My sister!!"
(Hm... same as the error I noticed in Scene #404 & Scene #572... though now I'm doubting my memory--perhaps "imouto yo" has always been translated as uppercase Sister and I just didn't notice it? If that's the case, the instance in Scene #404 should be reverted to its original form)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved
Scene #6004:
"It's an epigram. The contents are... Well, I can tell you it's an old worn out gravestone."
"It's an epigram. The contents are... Well, I can tell you it's an old worn-out gravestone." (Missing hyphen)
EDIT by Phlebas - resolved